Cats and children
What's going on
Cats are not small dogs. Their tolerance for being handled, held, carried, and squished is usually much lower than a dog's. They show stress quietly — for a long time — and then explode. Our job, when there are kids in the house, is to teach the kids to read cat signals and to give the cat a way to opt out.
What to try
Cat-only zones
A high shelf, a cat tree, a bedroom with a cat door, a room behind a baby gate that the kids cannot enter. The cat must have somewhere to go that no one will follow. This single setup prevents enormous numbers of problems.
Teach kids to invite
The kid sits on the floor. Quiet hands. They tap the floor or extend one finger. If the cat comes over and rubs the finger — yes. If the cat doesn't come over — no thank you, try again later. Never chase, never grab, never pick up an unwilling cat. Ever.
Reading the cat together
Look at body language together with your child. Ears flat or sideways? Tail twitching hard? Pupils huge? Skin rippling along the back? Time to give the cat space. Make it a game: 'What is Mittens telling us?' Kids become amazing observers when invited to be.
Teach kids the cat's vote counts. They will learn — and the cat will trust them for life.
Play through a toy
Wand toys are wonderful. The kid is at one end of a long stick; the cat is at the other. The cat gets to chase, pounce, and 'kill' — and no one's fingers get bitten. Two-and-up can run a wand with adult coaching. Avoid laser pointers as the only toy — cats need a physical 'kill' at the end.
What to avoid
- No picking up cats by armpits, scruffs, or middles. Most cats hate it.
- No hugs, no carrying around like a baby, no costumes.
- No bothering a cat who is eating, sleeping, or in the litter box.
- No 'they'll learn to deal with it.' Cats don't. They bite.
When to ask for help
If your cat has scratched or bitten a child more than once, please get an IAABC- or ACCBC-certified cat behavior consultant involved. The cause is almost always preventable — usually a missed warning signal — and a pro can identify it fast.
Watch & learn
A few curated videos from trainers we trust. Click any thumbnail to play.
